Monster in laws

Have you always got on with your Inlaws?? I haven’t, in fact I have been downright HATED.

Are they mummy’s boys or am I the bitch? Calm down you haters before you start …Yes I know I’m a bitch when I want to be but only when I feel attacked or when I’m at a point of no return. 

As women, we know what it is to make another woman feel uncomfortable and awkward. We also know when you say something to another woman in the presence of a man; it’s like a special language where the man thinks it was a very lovely exchange of words between the two women he loves……… but really she has just called a money grabbing fat cow. 

Those comments like ‘have you lost weight?’ or ‘oh thats interesting, but when I was younger I did this’…the sniping is endless.

Have you ever had to be ‘pre introduced’ like a warning…I have 

  1.  Just to let you know ‘she is mixed race’. I mean I am brown not purple with green spots. I’ve never declared a partners colour/heritage to my family before introducing them.
  2. She has a kid…STOP THE PRESS it’s the 21st Century, so I got knocked up young, I mean it’s not a crime- I have done pretty well for myself and my son could probably teach YOUR son a thing or two.

Some of my bizarre and rude experiences below:

I have sat in a room with one boyfriend, his mother and grandmother talking about the importance of a smear and I said about having an irregular result back once, to which she replied ‘oh I think people who have had that reuslt are those who have had many sexual partners’. You could imagine my desire to call her out on her bullshit and the many digs but I remembered I was going home with HER Son! 

Another great story was when my boyfriend’s mother told me ‘if my son has children with you, I will disown them, I want grandchildren with blonde hair and blue eyes’ Aside from the temptation to just get pregnant just to royally piss her off, I was alarmed at the level racism. 

I have had one mother put on Facebook that she hopes I dont return from holiday and her son returns home to her. AWKWARD…Nedless to say I DID return and he didnt go home to his mummy.

I had one mother during the my height of depression about 15 years ago ask my boyfriend whilst at a family meal in front of everyone…. ‘has she got her happy pills, we dont want her jumping off any blocks’

I’ve been witness to a lot of seed sowing and been a victim of the sly digs over the years and some to the point where I couldn’ t even write the things that have been said. 

This used to really upset me, because I wanted nothing more than for everyone to get on. However I have come to realise that the ‘mummy’s boy syndrome’ is a force I don’t even want to tackle. If life is that miserable for those women that they need to meddle and cause upset rather than allowing their sons to be carefree and happy then that is their choice- I have dealt with way worse in life.

What I want is to THANK these menopausal, controlling and ‘inept of letting go’ mothers for teaching me how I will never be with my Son and his future girlfriends. 

Share you stories….lets united as the disappointing not up to standard Daughter in laws

BOYS/MEN Time to cutting the strings and get a life, stand up and be counted or sit down and be single. 

Finally remember ladies: Decent bra, proper knickers and you cant go wrong. If in doubt ask for some advice from the mother inlaw. She knows just what her son likes!!

Ps I know some mother inlaws are fab…but that makes for boring reading!

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