The eviction-The plan was simple.
Mel was going to come over early on Friday and help me pack his stuff. He would be at work and we would drive to his dads house and leave it there.
The night before Mel and I were firming up plans. We deleted our phone chat on the off chance he would see it and she told me to say she had had an argument with her ex and needed to come over in the morning.
She sent a perfectly timed text in the middle of the night saying ‘her and Adam had a row and she needed to come over between her viewings’. I woke him up and read the text. He grunted and rolled over, the plan was set.
I knew if he thought mel was coming over upset, there would be no chance of him coming back in the working day to foil our plans.
Jayden and Lilly were in that night and the idea of my son even speaking to him made me sick. I had to tell Jayden, how do I find the words? I had the worst heartburn by now, from not eating and I looked like an overweight drug user. I had bags under my eyes that were so dark and heavy, signs of the last few dats taking its toll on me.
I could hear Jayden and Lilly giggling upstairs and I cried downstairs.
I wished for him to never feel this pain and no one would ever be this careless with his heart. I m not so blinkered to think heartache doesn’t happen, but betrayal on this level was more that anyone should have to deal with.
I cried through the pain but felt some happiness about their relationship. That carefree attitude before life really screws them over. Their laughs were lighthearted and innocent, I listened to them laughing for a while.
I called Jayden downstairs and said ‘listen kid, (I always call him that despite him being 19) the wedding is off’. I was fighting back the tears. Jayden asked why? I just shook my head and said ‘please say nothing and just stay in your room tonight’. I told him not to answer his phone tomorrow to him (the now ex) under no circumstances!
He said ‘mum tell me’, again no words came out. He said ‘mum has he cheated on you!?’ I nodded.
Rage and disappointment descended onto his face. He said ‘I’m going to kill him’. I said ‘Jayden, please let me do this my way. Just follow what I said and I will be ok’ He reluctantly agreed and hugged me so tightly and went up stairs.
I felt bad because I didn’t hear them laugh again that night. That made me cry so hard. I hid in the toilet. My hand over my mouth so no one could hear me.
The now ex slept in my bed that night. I remember staying up and watching him sleep. I wondered how he could sleep so easy knowing he leads a double life. I watched him breathing effortlessly and recalled how laboured and hard it was for me to breath. I remember thinking he deserved to hurt like I did.
I also had that sad realisation that this was the last time we would share a bed. In fact it would be the last time he would share anything with me. A small part of me felt sorry for him as he had no idea that the Emily train was about to crash into his world and take away all what he had previously taken for granted.
I crept downstairs and took his door keys off his key ring. So he couldn’t get back in again once he left for work that morning.
Wow’ I was resourceful and deceitful. I learnt from the best I guess. Needs must!
Mel arrived early and again our conversation was limited although for mel this was not unusual. She is a woman of few words.
She was regimental in her packing. Even going through pictures and cutting him out memories. Memories she knew I held dear and still wanted of me and Jayden. But didn’t need a daily reminder of him.
She went through letters also and threw them in the black bags. Black bags hey, How sad that his life has amounted to just a few bin liners. Bloody good!
His stuff was in the hallway and we were upstairs packing the rest of his stuff. It was 9.30am.
All of a sudden there was a knock at the door.
Fuck it was him!